With the new season rapidly approaching, it's time to look at last season and see what lessons can be taken from it. How did we get out in 2010?
The three card trick (pt 1).
Bowler sent down five wides in a row, then bowled me with an inswinging yorker on middle stump.
Lesson: Just because they look rubbish, they might not be.
Plan of action: Block everything.
The selfless hari kari
(x2) Attempt to pick up run rate having scored slowly, tried to slog sweep off spinner for six, bowled middle stump.
(x3) Attempt to pick up run rate having scored slowly, try to slog seamer back over his head. Bowled middle stump.
Lesson: Fuck the team. No really. Because the next guy usually scores even slower. Or gets out first ball.
Plan of action: Stop trying to hit it for six. I hit six sixes last season and got out five times attempting to hit a six. In hindsight, not the greatest odds. Failing that, block everything.
The three card trick (pt2).
Saw tall, stacked bowler come charging in, assumed he'd be quick, played way too early at first ball, looped to cover.
Lesson: Just because they look good, they might not be.
Plan of action: Block everything.
The cabbage patch retardo slash
Hungover to shit. Pitch behaving like an absolute bastard. Get hit a couple of times. Decide one's got my name on it and I've got to go after everything. End up caught behind cutting a full ball I should be driving and which is too wide to even do that.
Lesson: Ninety nine times out of a hundred on a horrible wicket you don't actually get out to the unplayable ball. Bad pitches are nasty things because they make you play ridiculous shots.
Plan of action: Don't make yourself available/try and hide yourself down the order if the pitch looks dodgy. If you do end up batting, block everything.
The Celebrity Wicket
Facing a famous celebrity in a posh game I've been roped in for. He's elderly, and utterly terrible. I'm 70* and already smacked him for 15 in the over. Not really sure if another boundary is quite the done thing. Accidentally/on purpose hit one up in the air. 'Oh well bowled, did me in the flight.'
Lesson: The British class system is alive and well.
Plan of action: Block most of them.
The three card trick (pt 1).
Bowler sent down five wides in a row, then bowled me with an inswinging yorker on middle stump.
Lesson: Just because they look rubbish, they might not be.
Plan of action: Block everything.
The selfless hari kari
(x2) Attempt to pick up run rate having scored slowly, tried to slog sweep off spinner for six, bowled middle stump.
(x3) Attempt to pick up run rate having scored slowly, try to slog seamer back over his head. Bowled middle stump.
Lesson: Fuck the team. No really. Because the next guy usually scores even slower. Or gets out first ball.
Plan of action: Stop trying to hit it for six. I hit six sixes last season and got out five times attempting to hit a six. In hindsight, not the greatest odds. Failing that, block everything.
The three card trick (pt2).
Saw tall, stacked bowler come charging in, assumed he'd be quick, played way too early at first ball, looped to cover.
Lesson: Just because they look good, they might not be.
Plan of action: Block everything.
The cabbage patch retardo slash
Hungover to shit. Pitch behaving like an absolute bastard. Get hit a couple of times. Decide one's got my name on it and I've got to go after everything. End up caught behind cutting a full ball I should be driving and which is too wide to even do that.
Lesson: Ninety nine times out of a hundred on a horrible wicket you don't actually get out to the unplayable ball. Bad pitches are nasty things because they make you play ridiculous shots.
Plan of action: Don't make yourself available/try and hide yourself down the order if the pitch looks dodgy. If you do end up batting, block everything.
The Celebrity Wicket
Facing a famous celebrity in a posh game I've been roped in for. He's elderly, and utterly terrible. I'm 70* and already smacked him for 15 in the over. Not really sure if another boundary is quite the done thing. Accidentally/on purpose hit one up in the air. 'Oh well bowled, did me in the flight.'
Lesson: The British class system is alive and well.
Plan of action: Block most of them.
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