Monday 9 May 2011

Needle (concluded) (I hope).

1. I sent them a conciliatory email apologising for the mistakes made by our team. I received a very kind reply - their supremo said he totally understood, that we clearly have a nice bunch of lads and that it can be hard to assimilate new players to the culture, especially if you have a new captain, which we do.

So far, so good. But he then puts my email up on their club's site. Now this isn't great for two reasons: 1) I criticise, albeit fairly (I hope), the players involved in the controversy on our team. None of it is stuff I wouldn't say to their faces, but then I'd rather that was the case, rather than read on the website of another club. 2) The email was an attempt to rebuild bridges and an apology for two specific incidents: I don't want it to be taken as the sum total of my views as to what happened that day. Had I wanted to offer that, I'd have sent them the post below (perhaps expanded) and no doubt a whole bunch of tedious arguments would have continued as a result.

I know why he's done it: he wants to keep the people within the club who are pissed off happy and prepared to play us again so he can get XI on the pitch in August. I don't really blame him. And actually that's something I left off the original post - there was, and isn't there always - a wide array of views in their team, from fury to mild amusement at said fury.

I tell him to make a few edits if he's going to use the mail, which he does promptly. I guess the matter's closed, albeit not in quite the manner I'd like - somehow I seem to have come out of it slightly worse than anyone else, what with looking needlessly obsequieous to the opposition and like a bit of a backstabber to my own team, but on the plus side the long term hassle has been kept to a minimum...result. Kind of.

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2: Update one day on: I told myself I wouldn't blog any more on this. But this is the issue that's exercising me. Being honest about this isn't going to do me any favours. But fuck it. I told myself I'd do a diary of a season and be as sincere as I could be.

To recap: Off my own bat, and even though I wasn't playing in the game, I sent the opposition the world's most contrite email, and not only do they fail to acknowledge they might not have been entirely graceful in their own behaviour, they put it up on their website. What the fuck? I mean, it's just shocking isn't it?

Well here's the thing. It's not in the slightest, not to me anyway. If I'm honest, I saw it coming. Like me, the person who did it has a huge interest in preserving the status quo, because he knows how hard failure to do so can make his life. But even so, to be completely unapologetic...well, play enough of this standard of game/deal enough with the people that run these teams and you come to be utterly familiar with this kind of behaviour. The mentality is simple: we may not win in the cricket stakes, but we shall absolutely dominate the moral high ground, and we'll do it with the kind of grit and determination that would make Steve Waugh shudder. Last season I saw a defeated captain walking off the pitch with his hand outstretched, taking huge offence at the fact none of our players were shaking it, even though he'd unintentionally/on purpose left enough space between himself and them so that they didn't notice him. In my experience it's just best to leave them to it.

But CC! What about your team's good name? What about your own reputation? Where are your principles? Your scruples?

Ah, my dears. They took a swan dive out the window and splatted head first on the pavement when I took on the fixtures job.

You spend six months emailing people, trying to get your dates right, trying to find grounds, swapping said dates dozens of times because X suddenly can't do that weekend and Y can't do that one and this ground is being used by a local blind team so you can't take that off them and that one's not available till June and the useless council worker's lost your booking form and...finally get to the season and all you're worried about is how your work's gone: is the pitch alright? Are the opposition too good? Too bad?  Does everyone like each other? Does everyone hate each other?

I've talked to loads of fixtures secretaries - I have to. Almost all agree: it's the easiest possible way to wreck your enjoyment of the game. And almost all say: they only do it because no one else will. Once the season gets under way, all they want is the quietest life possible. You want to sit astride the moral high horse? Saddle up, cowboy: I'm afraid I haven't the energy to ride alongside you.

Look at it this way: I'm not spending this week arguing the toss over a game I didn't play in. I don't have to try and find a new fixture for later in the year. When the two teams next play, not only will we not be that bunch of cunts that cheated: we'll be that team that apologised. I expect plenty of their players will feel a teensy bit guilty: good luck winning a fight with someone who's just bent over and spread their arse cheeks wide open in front of you. If it does get nasty, fine. I'll even join in the fun. After all, I've got all Winter to sort a new game.

So that's all great for me. Of course there was a bit of fallout on our club website. A couple of salient points were made, not least that the opposition actually lost because of their fielding (which they probably did) and that there's no moral responsibility to keep our own feelings private after they went ahead and published the email (how true). But then I made very clear in the email that this was just a personal apology from an individual. If other people in the club want to fight the good fight, there's nothing to stop them. Something tells me that, rather as I've concluded, they'll decide it's just not worth the bother. 

6 comments:

  1. I'd be kind of furious if they'd done that to me.

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  2. Well, they emailed to alert me straight after doing it, and like I say I know exactly why they did. In the words of the skip: 'I expect our players to be humbled.' To be honest I expect there are enough guys on their team who know they didn't cover themselves in glory either.

    I guess they'd also say that if I don't stand by the contents of the email (which I do), then I shouldn't have sent it at all. Above all, it should help keep the hassle over the long term to a minimum.

    As I've said regarding all this stuff: shit happens.

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  3. It's not about standing by the comments. It's about common decency. They could have achieved the same result by forwarding the email to their mailing list. Instead they come across as self-righteous and pathetic.

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  4. I don't necessarily disagree. I just want as quiet a life as possible while the season is on so I can concentrate on the cricket. If there are repercussions then we can deal with them - as a team/committee - after the season. Like Teddy Roosevelt: tread carefully and carry a big stick.

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  5. Concluded? Ha. You wish.

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