HAC ground a picture in bright July sunshine, the City tranquil on a Sunday. We got our team wrong and were largely outclassed. But...I've played three games for my second team - not the guys I was playing for today - this season. We play on decent if slightly fruity wickets against proper village sides or club fourth teams, and I usually take the new ball. In every game I've been spanked. Not just unlikely to make a breakthrough - I've gone at seven an over. There have been plenty of misfields and edges, but ultimately these things even out and the big picture is: I've been shit. I'm not just talking this season - I'm talking over the course of six years.
And this lot play at a much higher level. Today I took the new ball on a pitch flatter than the one where the Test's being played and opened up to two class batsman, one an ex-public school first team player, the other an Aussie who'd played grade. The keeper - an ex-international - stood up to the stumps for me. I was expecting to get slapped everywhere. They barely got me off the square. I set a cover sweeper, a third man, and bowled everything on a good length on or outside off. They played and missed at a couple, hit a couple of fours, and that was it. I got one with a yorker and could have had a couple more. The new ball swung a little and then I got it to cut just enough. After the game they presented me with a complimentary polo shirt for being the best bowler in the game.
This sounds falsely modest, but it all seemed a bit silly. I am NOT a good bowler. I'm the guy who gets put on in the middle of the innings when you want someone who can vaguely stick it on the spot. I hit 70mph at a push and swing it a bit and don't do much else. It's not the first time - ever since I was 15 I've got good players - much, much better players than me - out. But no one rates my bowling. I don't rate my bowling. And the guys my second team play, most of whom aren't very good at all, really don't rate my bowling, because they face trundlers like me all the time.
I guess I'm not so slow that you can constantly whack through the line, and I guess I've played enough to know that if you hit the right length you're always in with a chance, whoever's at the other end. But I wish I could bowl like this for my second team. I seem incapable of sticking to a simple plan, trying all sorts of deliveries I'd never have tried today. As it happens, they won their first game of the season yesterday., without me.
As to the rest of the game, carnage, really. We chased 260 off 40 overs (given I'd been tight you can imagine how they cut loose). I came in at 3 and faced a guy who plays international cricket (for the world's 25th best team, no less). He was fucking fast. I shudder to think exactly how fast. He hit me on the arm when he bowled short and I turned my head away in abject fear. It really, really hurt and left a wonderful bruise on the forearm. Kept the rest out and even gave a good impression of being comfortable when he pitched it up, but 7 an over off that bowling? No chance - I'm not good enough. A couple of guys on our team might have been, but they all failed. In the end I was run out for 20 odd. I could have made a lot more because we'd all but given up by that stage, but I figured I should try and get on with it.
So not bad. But best achievement of the day arguably the below snaps.
And this lot play at a much higher level. Today I took the new ball on a pitch flatter than the one where the Test's being played and opened up to two class batsman, one an ex-public school first team player, the other an Aussie who'd played grade. The keeper - an ex-international - stood up to the stumps for me. I was expecting to get slapped everywhere. They barely got me off the square. I set a cover sweeper, a third man, and bowled everything on a good length on or outside off. They played and missed at a couple, hit a couple of fours, and that was it. I got one with a yorker and could have had a couple more. The new ball swung a little and then I got it to cut just enough. After the game they presented me with a complimentary polo shirt for being the best bowler in the game.
This sounds falsely modest, but it all seemed a bit silly. I am NOT a good bowler. I'm the guy who gets put on in the middle of the innings when you want someone who can vaguely stick it on the spot. I hit 70mph at a push and swing it a bit and don't do much else. It's not the first time - ever since I was 15 I've got good players - much, much better players than me - out. But no one rates my bowling. I don't rate my bowling. And the guys my second team play, most of whom aren't very good at all, really don't rate my bowling, because they face trundlers like me all the time.
I guess I'm not so slow that you can constantly whack through the line, and I guess I've played enough to know that if you hit the right length you're always in with a chance, whoever's at the other end. But I wish I could bowl like this for my second team. I seem incapable of sticking to a simple plan, trying all sorts of deliveries I'd never have tried today. As it happens, they won their first game of the season yesterday., without me.
As to the rest of the game, carnage, really. We chased 260 off 40 overs (given I'd been tight you can imagine how they cut loose). I came in at 3 and faced a guy who plays international cricket (for the world's 25th best team, no less). He was fucking fast. I shudder to think exactly how fast. He hit me on the arm when he bowled short and I turned my head away in abject fear. It really, really hurt and left a wonderful bruise on the forearm. Kept the rest out and even gave a good impression of being comfortable when he pitched it up, but 7 an over off that bowling? No chance - I'm not good enough. A couple of guys on our team might have been, but they all failed. In the end I was run out for 20 odd. I could have made a lot more because we'd all but given up by that stage, but I figured I should try and get on with it.
So not bad. But best achievement of the day arguably the below snaps.
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