Two words: FUCKING AWESOME.
Ok, so there's not much to be said about the ground that hasn't been said before, except now I can add: I GOT TO PLAY AT WORMSLEY. Here are all the snaps. CC's mate had managed to blag five of us from my team into a six-a-side tournament for the Lord's Taverners. The only downside was that we were forced to represent a Giant Vampire Squid (actual name redacted due to fear of lawyers/hitmen), despite the fact that only he works for it. So every time we did something good the commentator (oh yes), said 'that's great play from the Giant Vampire Squid.' And at one point he apologetically added: 'The Giant Vampire Squid invests a lot in inner-city cricket: not a lot of people know that.' Maybe he'd just seen someone leaving a turd in one of our kit bags and felt sorry for us.
All to play for then. And between us and the trophy, the small matter of five other teams, each with an ex-pro. We had our own, and it's fair to say we drew the long straw - not only had he played a Test and some ODIs, but unlike all the others he was still playing for his county. And as the day went on he proved to be a class act: self-deprecating, funny and above all really bloody good at cricket. Over lunch he told us who he hated bowling at the most (here's a shock: Hayden) and hated facing (Akhtar and Lee, would you believe).
Didn't go so well in the first game though. The bowling was fine (we only had an over each) though my last two balls went for four (a Chinese cut and byes) which lead to the commentator, who I think was already tanked up by this stage, describing CC's over as 'expensive', and plenty of spluttering from yours truly. So I was keen to make up for it with the bat.
Our pro went for a golden duck, his middle stump pegged back by son of a famous England player. I was next out, and reassured my team mates: 'don't worry, he's a tail ender anyway.' Turns out I might have been a bit over-confident, what with said pro the proud owner of 4,000 first class runs, which as it happens is 4,000 more than I have. My middle stump went back 10 yards, first ball. I think it's my second-ever Golden Duck, but it might actually be my first. The guy generated pretty whippy pace off a four-pace run up, and I just wasn't expecting it. He'd done me so comprehensively that I thought I'd got a grubber. Later learned I was just stuck on the crease. Fortunately our number 5 saw off the hat-trick ball and we got to the last ball of the game with 3 to win, 2 to tie. He hit it for six. Some things we deduced about our number 5 from this:
- He has balls slightly bigger than Jupiter, and made of adamantium.
- We probably owe him a drink some time.
Sat out the next game, which we played against a much weaker team and won pretty easily. They had some crap spinners, and our pro hit them miles. It wasn't the only mismatch of the day - in another game a former England player made a batsman look so stupid that he turned around, knocked his stumps over, and stropped off. Another batsman tried the same trick in another game, and the umpire rather amusingly called dead ball, so he had to carry on playing and missing. In another game a very slow bowler sent down a full toss to a former England player who'd been renowned In his day as a big hitter, and the next thing we knew it had travelled over 100 metres into a neighbouring field.
So we were in the final, against a team who'd looked very good. We got off to an iffy start - the oppo had some midget from Western Australia who bowled far quicker than someone that height should, and he tied down our openers, the pressure forcing a run out and a bowled. To quote Rain Men on short bowlers: Napoleon invaded Europe. This put our pro in, and he immediately started winding him up. I'm thinking this was good professional tactics - get him rattled, make him lose his rhythm - but I wasn't particularly thankful when I went out to face a furious Aussie shortarse on a king pair. Luckily the first ball pinged out the middle through cover, and I was off.
It was a tricky situation - two wickets left, so I couldn't really afford to get out for three or so overs, but we had to go at ten an over for a par score. I didn't time it very well at all - actually that's an understatement - but I kept going at a run a ball, which gave our pro plenty of strike, and he seemed to hit pretty much everything for six, four or two. I ended up about 20 not out, and we'd set 80 off 8 overs, probably par. If I'd timed a few more and we'd had a better start I think we could have got to 100, which would have been a tough ask, but 80 was something to bowl at.
Sadly, the other team were much too good. I guess most of us at our best are league second team players who wouldn't disgrace themselves in the firsts, whereas they had some proper first team players. My over -the second - was fine - with four fielders to play with I figured the best bet was to go three on the off side boundary and one on the leg, and bowl full outside off. Doubt I'd have got away with another one like that though. They really showed their class later on in the innings, and won with an over to spare. With a few more runs we might have pushed them harder, but I reckon even 20 more might not have been enough, and anyway, our pro had done most of the work for us.
No disappointment: ultimately it was a FUCKING BRILLIANT day. In fact, I'm going to throw this out there - the best day's cricket I've ever had. Huge thanks for the invite, well done to everyone on our team, and my God I hope to do it again some day.
Ok, so there's not much to be said about the ground that hasn't been said before, except now I can add: I GOT TO PLAY AT WORMSLEY. Here are all the snaps. CC's mate had managed to blag five of us from my team into a six-a-side tournament for the Lord's Taverners. The only downside was that we were forced to represent a Giant Vampire Squid (actual name redacted due to fear of lawyers/hitmen), despite the fact that only he works for it. So every time we did something good the commentator (oh yes), said 'that's great play from the Giant Vampire Squid.' And at one point he apologetically added: 'The Giant Vampire Squid invests a lot in inner-city cricket: not a lot of people know that.' Maybe he'd just seen someone leaving a turd in one of our kit bags and felt sorry for us.
All to play for then. And between us and the trophy, the small matter of five other teams, each with an ex-pro. We had our own, and it's fair to say we drew the long straw - not only had he played a Test and some ODIs, but unlike all the others he was still playing for his county. And as the day went on he proved to be a class act: self-deprecating, funny and above all really bloody good at cricket. Over lunch he told us who he hated bowling at the most (here's a shock: Hayden) and hated facing (Akhtar and Lee, would you believe).
Didn't go so well in the first game though. The bowling was fine (we only had an over each) though my last two balls went for four (a Chinese cut and byes) which lead to the commentator, who I think was already tanked up by this stage, describing CC's over as 'expensive', and plenty of spluttering from yours truly. So I was keen to make up for it with the bat.
Our pro went for a golden duck, his middle stump pegged back by son of a famous England player. I was next out, and reassured my team mates: 'don't worry, he's a tail ender anyway.' Turns out I might have been a bit over-confident, what with said pro the proud owner of 4,000 first class runs, which as it happens is 4,000 more than I have. My middle stump went back 10 yards, first ball. I think it's my second-ever Golden Duck, but it might actually be my first. The guy generated pretty whippy pace off a four-pace run up, and I just wasn't expecting it. He'd done me so comprehensively that I thought I'd got a grubber. Later learned I was just stuck on the crease. Fortunately our number 5 saw off the hat-trick ball and we got to the last ball of the game with 3 to win, 2 to tie. He hit it for six. Some things we deduced about our number 5 from this:
- He has balls slightly bigger than Jupiter, and made of adamantium.
- We probably owe him a drink some time.
Sat out the next game, which we played against a much weaker team and won pretty easily. They had some crap spinners, and our pro hit them miles. It wasn't the only mismatch of the day - in another game a former England player made a batsman look so stupid that he turned around, knocked his stumps over, and stropped off. Another batsman tried the same trick in another game, and the umpire rather amusingly called dead ball, so he had to carry on playing and missing. In another game a very slow bowler sent down a full toss to a former England player who'd been renowned In his day as a big hitter, and the next thing we knew it had travelled over 100 metres into a neighbouring field.
So we were in the final, against a team who'd looked very good. We got off to an iffy start - the oppo had some midget from Western Australia who bowled far quicker than someone that height should, and he tied down our openers, the pressure forcing a run out and a bowled. To quote Rain Men on short bowlers: Napoleon invaded Europe. This put our pro in, and he immediately started winding him up. I'm thinking this was good professional tactics - get him rattled, make him lose his rhythm - but I wasn't particularly thankful when I went out to face a furious Aussie shortarse on a king pair. Luckily the first ball pinged out the middle through cover, and I was off.
It was a tricky situation - two wickets left, so I couldn't really afford to get out for three or so overs, but we had to go at ten an over for a par score. I didn't time it very well at all - actually that's an understatement - but I kept going at a run a ball, which gave our pro plenty of strike, and he seemed to hit pretty much everything for six, four or two. I ended up about 20 not out, and we'd set 80 off 8 overs, probably par. If I'd timed a few more and we'd had a better start I think we could have got to 100, which would have been a tough ask, but 80 was something to bowl at.
Sadly, the other team were much too good. I guess most of us at our best are league second team players who wouldn't disgrace themselves in the firsts, whereas they had some proper first team players. My over -the second - was fine - with four fielders to play with I figured the best bet was to go three on the off side boundary and one on the leg, and bowl full outside off. Doubt I'd have got away with another one like that though. They really showed their class later on in the innings, and won with an over to spare. With a few more runs we might have pushed them harder, but I reckon even 20 more might not have been enough, and anyway, our pro had done most of the work for us.
No disappointment: ultimately it was a FUCKING BRILLIANT day. In fact, I'm going to throw this out there - the best day's cricket I've ever had. Huge thanks for the invite, well done to everyone on our team, and my God I hope to do it again some day.
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